Life in your 40s and 50s can be a whirlwind of responsibilities, career challenges, and many life changes. It’s a constant juggling with work, family, and everything in between all competing for attention. But along with all the ‘normal’ stresses and strains in life being the pillars of support for others in your professional life can sometimes take a toll on your well-being. Not only can it lead to burnout but it can also have a lesser known and talked about effect, vicarious trauma. In fact many people have never even heard of vicarious trauma much less recognise the signs and what to do about it.
Understanding Vicarious Trauma: What Is It?
First things first, let's unravel the mystery of vicarious trauma. You might be wondering, "Is it some mystical ailment only few have encountered?" Not at all! It's a very real and relatable experience, especially for compassionate souls like you.
Someone compassionate, empathetic and cares deeply for others. You support friends, family, and even strangers through their struggles. However, constantly absorbing others' emotional pain can take its toll on your well-being, leading to vicarious trauma.
Vicarious trauma, simply put, is the emotional and psychological impact of being exposed to the traumatic experiences of others. If your job involves caring for or supporting others who have been through difficult situations, you might be at risk of experiencing vicarious trauma. It's like carrying a bit of their burden with you, and over time, it can start to weigh you down.
The Link Between Stressful Jobs & Vicarious Trauma
People in demanding careers, such as therapists, social workers, first responders or people in the legal professions are particularly susceptible to vicarious trauma due to the nature of their jobs, often working with people at the worst moments of their lives or people who are experiencing crisis, trauma and emotional distress. As a professional it’s your job to provide a safe haven for these people, to be strong when they are falling apart, to walk side by side as they go through or process their trauma. Over time this can lead to emotional fatigue and burnout.
Self-awareness is the first step; notice when you're taking on someone else's emotional baggage. It's like putting on a heavy backpack full of rocks; eventually, it weighs you down. Practice setting boundaries and learn when to say "no" if you feel overwhelmed. However, people in these situations often feel like they can’t admit to feeling overwhelmed, In fact in many careers where this is particularly prevalent such as first responders, social workers, medical worker to name a few it can be very difficult to even acknowledge that the work you are doing has any impact, people in these sorts of professions may even see their ability to deal with the unthinkable as a badge of honour and to acknowledge that they what they are exposed to on a daily basis has any impact on them may feel like a weakness and they are somehow unable to do their job or that it reflects badly on them and may even affect their career progress.
Recognising the Signs of Vicarious Trauma
It's essential to be aware of the signs of vicarious trauma so you can address it early on. Keep in mind that you don't have to experience all these signs to be affected. It’s important to remember that everyone's experience is unique but some signs of vicarious trauma include feeling emotionally exhausted or numb, like you're running on empty
You may experience heightened worry and stress, even outside of work, finding it difficult to switch off and focus on your personal life, friends and family may complain that you are distracted or always thinking about work even when you are supposed to be focusing on them. You may find yourself checking emails, keeping your work mobile on and checking messages out of working hours.
You may find yourself withdrawing from social activities altogether or feel disconnected from others even when you are with them and find you can’t stay focused on tasks or things that you used to enjoy. You may be preoccupied with work and yet not want to go to work even though you’ve alway loved your work,
You may also experience sleep issues such as trouble falling or staying asleep due to racing thoughts or anxiety. You may find yourself replaying conversations and events over and over, these may be intrusive thoughts that you can’t control.
You may find that you are more emotional than normal and cry or get angry more often over things that would not usually bother you or you may find yourself unable to feel emotions, and feel emotionally shut down.
The Power of Emotional Resilience
We are often very good at supporting others and giving them advice on taking care of themselves but less so when it comes to ourselves so it's time to apply the wisdom you have gained over the years to take care of yourself.
Remember you are a compassionate person but it's crucial to set limits on how much you take on emotionally. Learn to say "no" when necessary.
Engage in mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, to ground yourself and stay present in the moment.
Don't be afraid to lean on friends, family, or colleagues for support and debriefing after challenging days.
Find joy and rejuvenation in hobbies and activities that bring you happiness outside of work.
If possible, consider seeking professional supervision or counselling to process your emotions and experiences.
You Are Not Alone
Building a supportive network is not only beneficial for your career but also crucial for protecting yourself from vicarious trauma. Connect with like-minded individuals who understand your struggles and share your triumphs. Whether it's a women's circle, book club, or an online support group, having a safe space to share and receive support can work wonders for your emotional well-being.
Connecting with colleagues who understand the unique challenges of your job and can empathise with your experiences. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this in your own working environment there may be professional associations or online communities where you can share stories, resources, and advice.
Also remember to celebrate your successes with those who genuinely appreciate your efforts and achievements, it can be easy to just focus on the negative or challenging aspects of your job, it may even feel somehow disrespectful to celebrate successes when you work in environments where there is more sadness or trauma that good moments but that is all the more reason to celebrate the successes.
Conclusion
Your compassion and dedication to helping others are admirable. However, it's vital to remember that safeguarding your well-being is not a luxury; it's a necessity.
By recognizing the signs of vicarious trauma and taking proactive steps to cope with it, you can continue making a difference in the lives of others while also nurturing your own happiness and emotional resilience.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Reach out to your support network, prioritise self-care, and embrace the strength of your emotional resilience. If you don’t have a support network then click the link below to join our online community.